


Ambivalence

by perksoflarrystylinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Baker!Harry, Depression, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mild Smut, Sad Louis, sappy!Harry, whipped!harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-18
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-26 03:50:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2636936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perksoflarrystylinson/pseuds/perksoflarrystylinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ambivalence.<br/>/amˈbɪv(ə)l(ə)ns/<br/>the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something.</p>
<p>Louis was in a state of ambivalence. He didn't know if he was happy or not. His life had turned upside down four years ago and a series of bad events continued from then on. However, those four years later, Louis meets his new neighbor, Harry Styles whom he grows fond of quite quickly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ambivalence

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this was first posted on Wattpad, but every larry shipper knows wattpad just isn't the place anymore. So hey the first Larry one shot I've ever written. Hope some (?) people like it because this was written in 2013 (I think?). If you're looking for smut, there's just a makeout scene so sorry about that. Anyway read go ahead, it's sad but not that sad. Byyyeee. x

Louis looked at his right and sighed when he saw an empty and sad bed. Some rays of sunlight had managed to seep through the white thin curtains, hitting Louis right in the face. The light enveloping Louis’ face giving him an angel-like look was a weird contrast to his mood. Louis was used to waking up to an empty bed but, today he just felt sad and his heart sank in his chest.

Why was it such a big deal today?

Louis sighed and cuddled back into the covers, not really wanting to wake up obviously. Lucky for Louis, five seconds later, he could hear the faint sound of the ‘marimba’ ringtone growing louder and louder (Note the sarcasm). He groaned out loud and pulled the covers off him, shivering slightly due to the unwelcomed coldness.

“Shut up!” Louis shouted at his phone and quickly picked it up from his nightstand to turn off the “damn alarm” (as he stated). He grumbled and picked up a black shirt lying on the floor, wearing it to accompany his black boxers. He made a beeline to his bathroom, cleaned up and went to the kitchen.

Louis put the toast in the toaster and prepared his tea in the mean time. It was a Sunday and he was angry that he had woken up this early; it was 7 a.m for crying out loud.

Louis was so absorbed in making his tea, he had completely forgotten about the damn toast. The burnt smell made him cringe and suddenly he didn't feel like drinking tea anymore.

He threw it in the sink, the toasts in the bin and went to take his bath. Louis wanted to stay at home and be lazy but the weather was rarely great and today seem to be a 'rare' day.

\----------------------//-------------------------

Black skinny jeans, white tee with rolled up sleeves, jean jacket and grey beanie; Louis' outfit was the representation of his mood. He was walking down the stairs of his apartment block (just because the damn lift was broken) when Louis stumbled and fell down but he was lucky enough to have almost reached the end of the stairs.

"Fucking hell..", Louis groaned and just sat there on his bum, grumbling to himself.

"What a great start to a great fucking day!"

Louis was about to get up when he saw a hand in front of his face. He was sure it wasn't his because this person's hands were abnormally large.

"Are you just gonna sit there? It's kind of dirty you know.."

Louis looked up and was met with a boy, no wait, a man, a beautiful man. Broken brown and wild curly hair held back messily by a dark blue bandana, and his eyes were of such a bright green colour (Louis couldn't help but think if it was the weather's effect) and wow, Louis' eyes fell on those perfect (blowjob) plump lips.

"I-euhm-yeah. I should probably get up.."

The stranger laughed a deep and beautiful laugh. Louis dreamily put his hand in the stranger's hand (and shivered because his hands were that soft while his were calloused and rough)

"You didn't get hurt did you?"

God. His voice was so deep and manly.

"Euh.. No, not really, just got a scraped elbow."

"Oh, you should be more careful. Euhm, by the way my name's Harry, Harry Styles."

"Yeah-I'm-Euhm-a bit clumsy.. Hi Harry, my name's Louis, Louis Tomlinson and thanks for helping there.."

Louis had never seen Harry (even his name was cute) before and he would know if such a beautiful man was in the same block as him. The confusion was surely, clearly etched on his face because.

"I'm new here. Just moved in actually, in flat 75 and you're my new-"

"-neighbour. How do you know I live in flat 76?"

"Oh.. Mrs. Rosemary was telling me that I have a lovely young boy as a neighbour, and you seem to fit the description so far..", Harry smiled sheepishly.

Louis gaped and blushed feverishly at the words.

"So where are you headed to?" Louis was able to say the words without stumbling (hallelujah).

"To work actually but we can meet up afterwards right- you know what- just, here take my number," Harry weirdly was the one stumbling on his words now and quickly took out his phone; in a way also signalling Louis to take out his too.

"Work? But it's a Sunday."

Louis and Harry exchanged phones still talking to each other.

"Yeah but my shift's only till noon. I should probably be going to work now." Harry smiled and handed Louis his phone back the shorter boy imitating his actions.

"Yeah, you probably should.."

Louis watched as Harry walked out of the door and went outside. He just stood there, trying to process what the hell just happened. Louis regained himself a few minutes later, this time smiling and humming an unknown happy tune under his breath.

When Louis got out, he had actually forgotten where he was headed to but hearing his stomach make a noise which was very similar to that of a dying whale, Louis knew exactly where he was headed to now.

\-----------------------//------------------------

Louis couldn't help but smile at the delicious perfume of freshly made cakes and pastries and the warm air inside, not like the cold September air outside.

"Barbara my love! How are you?" feather-haired boy exclaimed when he saw the face he had accustomed to see every week.

"Oh Louis my boy! I'm fine, thank you but you know I keep getting older and older."

"You may be getting older but you keep getting prettier my beautiful Barbara!"

"Louis?"

"Harry?"

Louis' smile suddenly disappeared.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"Well yeah.. I work here." Harry looked down trying to hide his now rosy cheeks.

"Since when?"

"Euhm a few days ago.. Barbara here was lovely enough to let me work in this bakery.."

"Louis! You know Harry?" Barbara literally smirked at Louis. She just knew Louis had an infatuation for Harry.

"Uh.. yeah Barbs he's my neighbour now."

"Awww, that's lovely now. Harry, Louis here, always visits me every Sunday so you'll probably see more of him," Barbara added with an oh-so innocent smile.

"Oh my! I need to go check the buns in the oven.. I'll leave you two now."

"So Louis, what are you gonna take?"

"A croissant accompanied by a cup of tea would be great Harry, to be honest I'm starving!"

Harry and Louis chuckled.

"Milk?"

"Yes please."

"Louis?"

"Yes Harry?"

"Would you like to join me for dinner at my apartment later?"

Louis almost died right there.

\-----------------------//------------------------

Louis was nervous as fuck. His palms were sweating and his hands were trembling a little.

"Sure I would-yes-love to have dinner with you, but at what time should I come?"

"7 would be good. I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable as we barely know each other, but it's just I've been eating alone for the past few days."

Boy, if only he knew for how long Louis has been spending his nights alone.

Louis checked the time again. Okay, it was 7:01 which means Louis has been standing in front of his neighbour's door for exactly one minute.

"Come on Louis, don't be such a wuss."

One, two, three. Knock, Knock, Knock.

The door opened frantically in less than a second.

"Louis," Harry exhaled, "you're here!"

"Who else would it be then?" Louis laughed but silently wished Harry wasn't expecting someone else.

"No, it's just I thought you, well, wouldn't come?" Harry managed to squeak out.

"Now why would I miss out on a lovely dinner with alovely boy?"

Louis did not understand where he got this sudden boost of confidence. Louis couldn't help a triumphant smile to appear on his face when Harry blushed a deep red. Louis, somehow, managed to stop staring at Harry and look around his apartment. It was relatively same as his but way, way tidier. The walls were plain looking, but then Louis' eyes fell on a wall where a lot of pictures were hanged.

"Make yourself at home; I'll just go set the table yeah?"

Louis nodded while he made his way to the wall. The first picture was of Harry as a toddler in a beautiful woman's lap smiling at the camera. The resemblance was too obvious so Louis knew; it must be Harry's mum. Next to it was a larger picture with a blonde girl in a jumper, smiling brightly at the camera with bubbles surrounding her.

"That's Gems, I mean Gemma, my sister," Louis flinched as he got a bit scared by Harry's sudden appearance.

"She's really beautiful."

"Yeah, she is.." Harry smiled sadly at the picture.

It must run in the family.

"Hey.. Are you okay? You seem a bit down now."

"Yeah, it's just I miss them. Gemma mostly, she moved to America two years ago and well now that I've moved to London, I miss my parents too." Harry sniffed and chuckled, embarrassed.

"Hey, it's okay to be sad; you can call them after dinner yeah?"

Harry nodded and hugged Louis out of the blue, making the latter stumble back a little due to the height difference. Harry sniffed again and Louis hugged him back tighter.

"Shushh it's alright.."

Don't scream. Don't scream. Don't scream. Holy shit HarrywashuggingLouis.

Harry sniffed again and stepped back, breaking the hug.

"Sorry about that, I'm still not used to this moving away thing and I'm a very emotional person," Harry laughed lightly.

"Dinner?"

Louis smiled and nodded.

"Dinner it is."

\------------------------//-----------------------

"Holy shit Harry! That pasta was so fucking good. You need to teach me how to make it one day. I mean if you want to. It's not like you have to-"

"Shut up Louis. Shushh,"

"Yeah I probably should shut up."

Louis and Harry were sprawled down on the grey carpet talking and drinking wine and Louis had maybe, abused of it.

So Louis had (so far) found out that Harry's a 20 year-old law student but does photography jobs here and there but right now he's in a loyal relationship with his job at the bakery. He had only one sibling and he was raised by his mum, Anne and stepdad, Robin and his real name was Harry, middle name was Edward. This made Louis laugh so badly and Harry instantly regretted telling him so because every now and then Louis would say something like:

"Can you pass me the salt please, sparkly man?"

"Where are your fangs? You won't drink my blood right, or would you?"

"You don't have a vampire family back there at home, do you?"

Harry however had only managed to find out that Louis is a 24 year-old Design teacher; even though he was pretty young for the job, Louis was getting a good pay from it and he was okay with that. Harry also managed to make Louis tell him his middle name, which was William. Nothing more. Nothing less.

"Lou?"

"Yeah Haz?"

"Do you have any siblings?"

Louis cringed and then sighed, getting up from his position and lying against the wall.

"Yeah, I've got six actually.."

"Six? Wow, that's a lot."

"Actually seven but let's just stick to six yeah. There's Lottie, then Fizzy, then the two twins Daisy and Phoebe and two twins again Doris and Ernest."

"It must be great but tiring having all these siblings right?"

"I wouldn't know Harry.."

Harry frowned.

"And why not?"

"Because I ran away from the place I used to call home."

\------------------------//-----------------------

Louis was so damn tired. Yesterday, after the "little" dinner time at Harry's, Louis had returned home around midnight. Harry hadn't brought up the topic of Louis' running away and they continued talking about random things, such as, their favourite movies, colour, books and many more.

Louis groaned and plopped down on his couch.

School was tiring. Teaching was tiring. Life was tiring.

Louis felt his eyes start to droop and

Knock. Knock.

"What the fuck," Louis mumbled in the sofa's cushion.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Coming! I'm coming!"

Louis opened the door, his hair dishevelled, eyes a bit red and the buttons of his shirt all opened.

"Oh.. I think I came at the wrong time. Sorry, euhm yeah, I-sorry."

It took Louis a second to realize that Harry thought he was having sex.

"No! Harry, wait!"

"What Louis?"

Louis was a bit taken aback by Harry's tone.

"I wasn't doing what you think I was doing, I was sleeping actually."

"Oh." Harry's features softened.

"It's alright. So why did you wake me up?"

"I'm so sorry about that because you do look really tired."

"Haz, it's okay."

"Okay. I was just asking if you wanted to have dinner again with me tonight? It won't be anything fancy like yesterday with the wine and all. Plus, you're really good company so yeah?"

"Of course, I would love to! I must admit you aren't that bad too."

Harry laughed and then said a quick, "Later then." and went back to his apartment.

\-----------------------//------------------------

"This pizza is so fucking good Harry!"

Harry chuckled and passed Louis the ketchup sauce.

"I'll never understand how people can eat pizza with ketchup sauce, like it already contains tomato sauce!"

"Tomato sauce and ketchup are two different things Harold."

"But no it's like-"

"Harry it's like you're saying I can't eat eggs with mayonnaise because it contains eggs."

"Who in their right mind would eat eggs with mayonnaise?"

"Me?"

"What the hell Louis."

"What."

"Nothing, you're just a cute-eating disgusting food boy."

Louis tried to not hyperventilate at the fact Harry just called him cute. A cute-eating disgusting food cute but still.

"Harry I'm 24."

"So?"

"I'm a man not a boy."

"With that height of yours, someone might mistake you for a boy."

"I have a beard!"

"17 years old have that too."

"Shut up giant, I can call you a boy too because you can't grow a beard."

"I shave."

"No, you don't."

Louis gasped when Harry suddenly pulled Louis from where he was sitting across him on the red sofa, and took his hand and put it on his cheek.

"Feel it?"

Louis was an arm's length from Harry and all he wanted to do was lean in. Fuck the pizza. Fuck everything. He just wanted Harry's lips on his.

"Feel what?"

"This."

"What?" Louis mumbled.

"My stubble."

Harry moved Louis' fingers with his own, Harry's hand resting on Louis' hand, making the latter stroke his cheek.

"Wait what?"

"Told you I shave."

"Uh y-yeah you do. Okay you're definitely no boy, you're a man."

Louis could feel a tingling sensation on his fingers and god Harry's skin against his made him envy more.

\-----------------------//------------------------

"Louis! Open the door! Louis!"

"Jesus! I'm coming!"

Louis ruffled his hair to try and make it look better as he was wearing an embarrassing apron which he clearly couldn't take off right now. Even though it was about four months they knew each other now, Louis always had to try and look good for Harry. He then opened the door with cake mixture in his hair.

"Most of the people I know call me Harry but you can call me Jesus too. Wait what's with your hair? New trend I see."

"What do you mean?"

"Take a look for yourself."

Louis told Harry to come inside and to close the door and went to the closest mirror and laughed nervously when he saw the brown cake mixture mixed with his brown hair.

"You should search it up Harry. It's called fashion." Louis winked at Harry's reflection in the mirror. Harry scoffed mockingly.

"Hah sure."

"Says Mr. glittery boots here."

"IT WAS ONE TIME. I WAS GOING THROUGH THE HOW TO BE GAY PHASE."

"Wait you're gay?"

"Yeah.. You're not a homophobe now or euhm are you?"

Harry is gay. He's gay. Holy shit. Louis thought he was but wasn't really sure.

"No. No I'm not, because well I'm gay too."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, I'm glad then."

"So wait, you're glad I'm gay?"

"No, I mean yes, I mean-"

"Just fucking with you mate."

Louis turned to punch Harry jokingly but the latter squealed.

"Don't you dare touch me with cake mixture on your hands!"

Louis tried not to smile and rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Your gay is showing."

"OH MY GOD!" Harry said in an annoying high-pitched voice but then went back to his deep as fuck voice.

"I hate stereotypes."

"Yes, holy shit. It's amusing though, when girls hit on me and I say that I'm gay. One girl once told me, I quote, 'But you look so manly to be gay.'"

Louis chuckled, a bit annoyed.

"Seriously though, I connect to you on an emotional level there."

Connect to me on another level, Louis thought, humming to himself.

"I'll clean myself up later, I'll just finish with the cake and yeah. You can like walk around, eh just make yourself at home!"

Louis speed-walked to his room as he had already put the cake to bake inside of the oven. He changed into his black skinny jeans and a plain aqua blue shirt, in a way matching with Harry's white shirt and a dark opened blue plaid shirt over it.

Louis turned and was met with a gaping Harry basically checking him out. Louis blushed so hard, he was sure even his neck was red.

"Louis?"

Harry took one step forward.

"Yes Harry?" Louis squeaked.

"I forgot to ask you a question the other night."

Another step.

"What?" Louis squeaked again.

"Are you in a relationship?"

Louis laughed and looked down sadly, thinking about his last relationship.

"No Harry that would be highly unlikely."

Another step.

"Then I can do this I guess."

Louis lifted his head up, his eyes wide after realising just how close Harry was.

"Do what?" Louis said, slightly above a whisper.

"This."

Harry moved forward and closed the gap between their lips. Louis was afraid to move his lips at first.

What if this was all a dream?

But then he clearly went with the 'fuck it' attitude and grabbed Harry's collar, pulling him closer and gripped his white shirt. Harry's lips were as soft as they looked and Louis’ were a bit rough due to the cold weather but both their breaths were hot against each other's lips. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist and he was the first to break the kiss, both panting for air.

"God this-"

Louis cut Harry off by kissing him again. Louis slid his tongue over Harry's lips and Harry gladly allowed him entrance. Louis pushed Harry against the wall and he allowed himself to play with the hair at the back of Harry's neck and this caused Harry to moan. Harry fucking moaned because of Louis.

Louis broke the kiss and Harry gave him a quick peck on his now red and plump lips. Both their eyes closed, they listened to each other's heavy breathing.

"What just happened?"

Louis' voice was hoarse, very different from minutes ago.

"I just had the most amazing kiss; that's what happened."

The shorter boy opened his eyes and he couldn't help but admire Harry's eyes. They were a colour between green and black.

"That really was amazing."

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

"What the hell-"

"THE CAKE! HARRY!"

Louis slid out of the longer boy's arms and ran to the kitchen. Louis turned off the oven and put on gloves, quickly taking out the now burnt cake and putting it in the sink. Louis then quickly got on a chair and turned off the fire alarm. He huffed and got off the chair. Amidst all of this, Louis finally noticed Harry's laugh in the background.

"Don't."

"I'm sorry but-Oh my god-your face!"

"Harry!" Louis whined.

"You looked so funny trying to turn off the alarm!"

Louis huffed and leaned against the sink, his nose wrinkling at the burnt smell. Louis felt a presence hover over him, shadowing him.

Harry moved Louis fringe out of his face and pinned both his hands on Louis' sides, enclosing him in between them.

"Lou?"

Louis observed Harry's movements carefully.

"Yes?" Louis asked cautiously.

Harry moved forward, breath fanning over Louis' mouth, teasing him. Louis eyes closed, obviously he was expecting a kiss. Instead, he heard the sound of running water.

"Tease." Louis seethed.

"I'll kiss you again but."

"But what Harold?"

"Go on a date with me?" Harry asked but it came out more as a statement.

"Yes Harry, I will." Louis grinned.

"Then let's go?"

"Where?" asked a confused Louis.

"On our date. Where else?"

"But the cake, I-"

"No buts, except yours, now let's go!"

\-----------------------//------------------------

"Why are you smirking? You're supposed to be smiling or grinning on a date Louis."

"I don't know how to ice skate."

"Oh," Harry tried not to smile but in vain.

"You're trying to pull the cheesy 'make your date learn how to ice-skate' move on me, aren't you?" Louis' smirk was still there, etched on his face.

"Maybe..."

"Well guess what?"

"What?"

"I lied. I do know how to skate."

Harry's smile dropped at once.

"Your face-holy shit-I'm sorry." Louis laughed at Harry.

"You."

"Payback is a bitch."

"Okay okay! You win."

"I always do! Now let's gooo! Should I remember I'm on a date with you, not vice versa?"

\------------------------//-----------------------

"Did you take classes when you were a kid or what Louis?" Harry exclaimed.

"Come on Harry! I wasn't that great. Stop exaggerating."

"Oh yeah? Go tell that to the girls who were gaping!"

"They weren't. And hey! That's mine-"

Harry scooped a spoonful of Louis' ice-cream and quickly ate it.

"Too late."

They were sat inside Harry's car because it was cold as fuck outside. Nevertheless, they were eating ice-cream, as if mocking the weather outside.

"You look cute all wrapped up in your coat and all."

"Why thank you. I would say the same for you."

"We're having dessert before dinner."

"Who cares?"

"I'm gonna take you to eat at The Blue Parasol."

"Is that a new place? I've never heard of it. It sounds French."

"You'll see."

\------------------------//-----------------------

"You've got to be kidding me!" Louis laughed.

"What? It's not fancy enough?"

"You dork! You adorable dork."

Harry grinned goofily at Louis and the latter felt the need to pull him by his collar and kiss him.

"Food. I'm hungry."

"But really Harry? A hotdog stand!"

"What? I didn't say it was a restaurant. Jokes apart, I swear they have the best hotdogs ever."

"Two hotdogs please?"

"Sure lads."

The old man smiled at the two boys when Harry paid him.

"This is really is good Harry. Knowing you is like experiencing food porn."

Okay, well that had two meanings.

"Told you, it's the best. A kiss in return?"

"But I'm eating.."

"I don't care."

Louis went on tiptoes and quickly gave Harry a small kiss.

"That's all you’re getting."

"Tease."

"Now now, look who's talking."

"We should end this date by watching a movie at mine? It's Saturday and it's getting late and colder."

"As long as it's not horror I'm in."

"What you'll get scared? Don't worry; I'll be there to protect you."

"Aww that's sweet but no. That's the problem; I don't get scared easily, so I eventually get bored."

"Oh."

Harry made a cute little pout and Louis moved forward and kissed his cheek.

"You look cute when you pout."

\------------------------//-----------------------

"Really? A walk to remember? A girl movie."

"What? I love that movie."

"You know, you're so tough looking on the outside but you're a total softie on the inside."

"Yeah yeah.. Now, come 'ere I wanna cuddle with you."

Louis grimaced and lied down next to Harry, his back against the other's chest. Harry hugged Louis and kissed him on his head. Louis was too caught up in the moment; he couldn't stop himself from giggling. Harry nuzzled his face in the space between Louis' neck and shoulders and hesitatingly kissed Louis on his neck. Louis smiled and cuddled back into Harry, enjoying his hotness (literally).

"It's my birthday in a week.."

"Yeah you told me. Do you have any plans on that day?"

"I usually have a small get-together with the boys."

"The boys?"

"Liam, Niall and Zayn. We used to go to college together."

"Oh.."

"You can-no-I want you to join this year."

"I'll be honoured to."

Harry smiled and nudged Louis to turn and face him. He cupped Louis' cheek and kissed him deeply, both forgetting about the movie. Louis smiled into the kiss loving the feeling of Harry's lips against his. Louis turned Harry over so he was hovering over the younger lad. He straddled Harry, from time to time, kissing Harry's neck causing him to let out small moans. Things got heated when Harry grabbed Louis' arse and Louis started moving his hip, grinding against Harry.

"Fuck, Louis!"

Harry forcefully grabbed Louis' neck, stopping him from his small kisses and kissed him on the lips.  
Harry suddenly stopped and Louis whimpered at the loss of importance his lips got. Harry then started moving his hips to meet with Louis' movements and sucked on Louis' neck, making the latter moan out in pleasure. The atmosphere was ruined when Louis realised Harry had just given him a hickey.

"Harry!"

Louis got of Harry and ran to the bathroom and came back with a disapproving look on his face.

"How the hell am I supposed to hide this Harry? I've got work on Monday!"

Harry chuckled.

"I think I have a bigger problem here, I'll just be-euhm-right back, yeah."

"What-oh."

Louis laughed so hard when he saw Harry's bulge.

"Stop laughing Louis, or I'll give you another hickey."

Louis immediately stopped laughing because he knew behind Harry's joking tone, there was truth.

"You know what never mind,let's just finish with what we started."

Louis squealed when Harry pulled him down and instead of the hot scene they had experienced minutes ago, Harry snuggled Louis (he was obviously the bigger spoon).

\------------------------//-----------------------

"Happy Bornday to you. Happy Bornday to you. Happy Bornday to you Louis! Happy Bornday to you!"

"Louis."

"Louis."

"Wake up fatass!"

"Fatass your mum Niall." Louis mumbled in his pillow.

"Remind me why I gave you guys a key to my apartment? Actually, don't."

Louis finally woke up.

"Aye Louis, who's shirt is this? I'm pretty sure it's not yours." Zayn said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Louis blushed smiling and confidently said, "Harry's."

"And who might that be?" Liam asked with a frown.

"He's euhm well my friend?"

"Louis." Zayn gave him a stern look.

"No, no I swear he's not like him. Harry's sweet and caring. Actually, you guys will meet him tonight!"

"Are you sure about this?" Niall spoke up.

"We still haven't labelled our relationship but I'm sure about this."

"Anyway Lou, we trust you. Happy Birthday again!"

Zayn kissed Louis on the cheek and then hugged him.

"I WANT A HUG TOO."

Niall screamed and literally attacked them with a hug. Louis motioned for Liam to join the group hug.

"I love you guys so much, I missed you all so fucking much."

Louis felt the arms around him grow tighter and that's when he lost it and started crying.

"Louis, what happened? I thought you were doing okay?"

Zayn rubbed Louis' back, trying to comfort him.

"No, I'm okay. It's just I haven't seen you guys in forever and this is all just overwhelming, I guess."

Louis mumbled in Zayn's chest.

"He did not call you, did he? If he did, you can tell us."

Niall said angrily but Louis knew the anger wasn't directed at him.

"No, thank god. I haven't talked to him since the fight three years ago. I'm over and done with him."

"If he does, I swear I'll break his face."

Louis laughed at Liam's comment.

"You already broke his nose and I think that's enough. Plus I would have never known if Zayn hadn't told me. "

"Holy shit I'm old now."

"Louis, we're only some months younger than you."

"Nope I'm too sexy to be old, yet. Consider yourself an oldie because I'm not."

Louis shook his head at Zayn's vain wording.

\------------------------//-----------------------

"Harry's going to arrive in five minutes, so let's just go inside!"

Louis grumbled a bit annoyed.

"Someone's sex-deprived."

"Shut up Niall."

Louis snapped at him while Liam talked to the waitress who then directed them to their reserved table. Louis sat down and huffed, examining the menu the same waitress had just given them.

Louis flinched when he felt two cold hands cover his eyes.

"Wha-"

"Happy birthday baby."

Louis smiled at the husky low voice whispered in his ear.

"You said you were going to be late?"

"Surprise surprise. I was kidding babe," Harry kissed Louis' cheek and at down next to him, grabbing Louis' hand and enclosing it with its own large one.

"Well well, are you the famous Harry?"

"Y-Yes," Harry cleared his throat when Louis squeezed his hand, trying to make him feel less nervous, "that's me."

Harry smiled at the three people sat around the table.

"Zayn, Zayn Malik."

"Harry Styles, nice to finally meet you." Harry shaked Zayn's and smiled at him.

"Niall Horan here!"

"And I guess you're Liam?"

"Yes, the one and only real Liam Payne," Liam smiled at Harry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You're a great guy Harry. I'm glad you and Louis are a thing." Zayn said to Harry, Louis completely oblivious to the words that just came out of Zayn's mouth.

"Actually about that," Harry whispered.

"Louis. Tell the boys you need to pee but wait for me outside yeah?"

Louis agreed confused and excused himself.

"Guys, I-euh-have something to say?"

"Go ahead Haz!" Niall already sticking to nicknames (he really liked Harry).

"I wanted to say that in the few weeks I've known Louis, I've grown really fond of him and well, he told me, and I can see it too, that you guys are really important to him. I don't think I'll ever reach that level of importance in his life but I just wanted to know if you don't have any objection about me asking Louis out, yeah?"

The three boys smiled at Harry and nodded, telling him to just go ask the boy out.

"He's actually waiting for me outside.. If you guys said no, I don't know what I would've done." Harry laughed nervously.

"I'm just gonna go yeah?"

"Go get it!" Niall laughed, moving forward to pat Harry's shoulder.

Harry got up quickly and went outside to find Louis leaning against the wall in his not-so-formal suit, looking at he sky above.

"You're so beautiful, it's unbelievable."

"Harry-"

"I swear if angels exist they must be jealous of your perfect face. But if angels don't exist, then I don't believe so because you are a living angel."

Louis blushed and Harry hugged him keeping a hand's distance between them.

"I really like you Lou, please be my boyfriend?"

Louis laughed, his eyes watering because today was just perfect.

"Yes! Of course I'll be your boyfriend!"

"That's all I needed to hear."

Harry laughed and leaned forward giving Louis a sweet and slow kiss.  
Louis laughed and moved away when he heard wolf whistles. Harry buried his face in Louis' shoulders embarrassed. Suddenly, three other pair of arms hugged the two lovers earning groans and laughs from both of them.

\-------------------------//----------------------

"Open the door Harry, please open the door."

Louis mumbled, furiously knocking on Harry's door. Finally the door opened and appeared a sleepy Harry.

"Lou? It's almost 4 a.m. Wha-Lou?"

Harry couldn't finish his sentence before Louis hugged him and broken sobs could be heard.

Harry lifted Louis up one of his arm around his waist and the other quickly closing the door. Harry let Louis hold him and cry, both sliding down to sit on the floor, Harry's back to the door.

"She called, Harry. She fucking called me." Louis let out a mix of incoherent words and sobs.

"Who is 'she' Lou?"

"My-my mum."

"What did she say Louis? You're making me worried. She didn't say anything bad, did she?"

Harry questioned while rubbing soothing circles to his lover's back. He could already feel a damp patch on his shoulder. Louis' crying stopped after some minutes of Harry calming him.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

Harry helped Louis to get up and walked him to the toilet, then told him to sit on the lid. He took a damp towel and carefully wiped Louis' tear, his heart breaking at the sight in front of him.

"It's been two, almost three, years since she last called." If the bathroom wasn't so eerily silent, Harry was sure he wouldn't have heard Louis.

"I thought she had forgotten me."  
Louis continued, this time he spoke a bit louder.

"Why would she forget you Louis?"

"Harry, it's time I tell you how much of a mess I was two years ago." Louis smiled sadly, his eyes watering again. He sighed tiredly.

“Come on, let’s get out of here then you can tell me.” Harry lifted Louis up and made him walk to his room.

Louis sat down on the well-made bed and Harry sat opposite him, their legs entangled.

“Well you know how I told you I ran away from home right?”

Harry nodded and Louis took Harry’s hands in his, playing with them.

“I was helped to. My mum helped me run away. Why did I run away? It was because of my so lovely father.” Louis bit his lips and held Harry’s hands tighter.

“He always treated me, his only son like crap and I never knew why. It affected me, a real lot but I was strong because I had my mum and my sisters who loved me so much. I was eighteen when I ran away. Well, I was pretty sure at that time that I was gay so naturally, I told my mum and she was happy that I had told her but the moment I saw her smile vanish I knew something was wrong. She told me to pack up my things and run away, far away.”

Harry looked at Louis confused. Why would someone tell their own son to run away?

“I know Haz, I was confused too. I thought she was throwing me out, you know disowning me? But she wasn’t. I still remember her words.”

“Run away Louis. You need to run away from here. Your dad is going to kill you and I if he finds out I know that you’re gay. I’ll still phone you, I’ll secretly send money for your education, just please. Run away from here, I see how he treats you but I've got four other children baby, I cannot afford being a single parent at this time.”

“But mum-I’ll keep it a secret, I will. I’ll stay in the closet if that’s what you want. I don’t care! I prefer this over not meeting you and my sisters.”

“Louis, you don’t understand. If your father ever finds out, he’ll go crazy! Please, think about your sisters. It’s for the best. I’ll call regularly and send pictures.”

Louis felt betrayed much but then his mother’s words made sense to him. He couldn't be selfish, so he did as he was told. He packed up his things and left to move to London.

Harry hugged Louis, kissing his forehead and then his hands. Harry looked up when he saw a droplet fall on his hand and quickly kissed Louis’ tear away.

“But that’s not it Harry, there’s more. This gets even more fucked up. When I moved here, she called every single day. I would stay up till 1 a.m just to hear her voice. I had already finished school so I had applied for universities and I had found the right one which wasn't away from my previous apartment, and god, my apartment was so small, I was scared I would lack of oxygen one day.” Louis laughed.

“She used to call everyday and I would tell her how I was coping and she told me that my dad was angry that I had left but everything was back to normal after one week, see that hurt, a fucking lot. My mum had lied to my sisters that I had left on a vacation but Lottie and Fizzy were old enough to understand that I had ran away. My mum said they cried so much but were angry at me, she never told them the real reason why I ran away. Every month the calls got less and less. She would call every two times in a week, then it turned to five-minute call every once a week. Then it turned to once a month or if I was lucky, twice a month and then it stopped. She had given up on me. My mother had given up on me.” Louis sobbed.

The little source of light being provided by the lamp on the nightstand made Louis looked beautifully broken and Harry couldn't see him like this. The man he now knew he loved was so fucking broken.

“Oh no, I still haven’t finished. When I went to university, I wanted to keep my personality the same even though I was breaking. To everyone, I was happy and cheeky Louis. Happy and cheeky Louis. Then I made friends pretty quickly, but Li, Ni, Zayn and I had become a group pretty quickly and one day I had told them I was gay and I was so fucking happy when they said that they accept me the way I am, that even though I’m gay, it doesn't mean I’ve turned into someone else. That was one step to making me feel better, and then I made friends with the new guy, Kaiden Gray. It wasn't long before we became a thing and then we started dating. He was the positive in my life after my mum stopped calling. I don’t understand how I never saw that the boys were more supportive than him. I guess love is really blind. The first few months with him were amazing but we were both in the closet so we couldn't really display affection and all at uni. But, then, he wasn't as caring anymore but I didn't pay heed to it because maybe our honeymoon phase was over? A year and a half along, I remember asking him if he would ever come out to his parents and he said.”

“You know I can’t do that Louis.”

“I’m not telling you to Kaid, I’m just asking if you ever will? You’re 21 and I’m almost 22.”

“I just can’t tell them Louis! I don’t want to talk about it!”

“How many times will you ignore this topic? You’re 21 for fuck’s sake! You will have to tell them sooner or later. I cannot stay in the closet for so long. I want to meet your parents as your boyfriend not your friend.”

“Why don’t you understand I can’t? They’ll disown me if I do.”

“How can you be sure if you won’t try?”

Kaiden was annoyed now, Louis could feel it but he wasn't ready for the words that would leave his beloved’s mouth.

“You know what, I’m done with this. I don’t want a boyfriend who would force me to come out, I prefer someone more supportive.”

“What-what do you mean? Am I not worth it?”

“Louis.” Kaiden sighed.

“Yes, yes you’re not worth it.”

And that was it. Kaiden left through Louis’ apartment’s door, not even as so much glancing back. He just left and Louis never saw him again. Louis changed apartment after that, the strings that had reattached his heart were now broken. Louis was broken.

“He never called again or tried to contact me. I was a mess. I would rarely go to university after that. The boys tried so hard to make me happy but it wouldn't work. Everything was too much to take in. Then, one day, I took things in my hands because I was fucking 22 not 14. I bought new clothes, changed my number, cut my hair, I did everything to make me feel new and forget. Every single day I convince myself that I was happy but deep down I knew I wasn't. I had gone on several dates, but it never felt right but there was this guy who was really charming but I was scared; so scared to being in a relationship. I lived with it. Uni was over then, and we all separated to find jobs and all, every night was lonely but I lived with it. I missed my mum and my sisters, but I lived with it. I never got to meet my new siblings but I lived with it. I learned to live with what I had that I didn't even try to change anything about it.”

Harry’s heart was hurting; he was on the verge of tears. Louis was a great person; he didn't deserve any of this. Louis was crying silent tears, no sobs or cries. Tears were just falling and falling. When Louis started trembling, Harry hugged Louis so tight, as if trying to glue his broken pieces back together. Harry then said the only thing that came to his mind.

"You're valuable and irreplaceable Louis. If someone ever tells you otherwise, do not believe them. I've known you for about eight months now and god, how I wish everyday I had met you way before. You’re so amazing and caring and I don’t understand how someone like you could go through all these bad things. I never believed the saying, ‘bad things happen to good people’ but now I do. I swear if I could take away all the pain you had to go through, I would. Jesus, I would. You’re the kind of person; I will show off to because I am so damn lucky to have you as my fucking boyfriend! Kaiden was so fucking stupid. He didn't deserve someone like you. You’re worth so much more than a dick like him. Every single day, I’m going to make you remember how much love you deserve and maybe even until the day I die, I won’t be able to show you how much but I will try Louis, I will."

Louis smiled through his tears and hugged Harry, holding him for dear life.

“Her voice sounded so tired but it brought relief to me.”

“What did she say?”

“She apologized for her sudden stop of calls because she was busy with getting a lawyer.”

“Lawyer?”

“For arranging divorce papers with my dad. She didn’t want to tell me at that time because she thought I was happy with Kaiden. She said that she tried to contact me again but I had already changed my goddamn number, but the other day she was grocery shopping and she met a woman named Karen; turns out it’s Liam’s mother. She called me and her voice sounded so tired. She said I could come visit home now, it was over. My mum has gotten a better job and she could live as a single parent. She asked for a divorce because after I was gone, my dad started ill-treating Lottie too as she grew up and my mum couldn’t take it anymore. She sacked him out of the house and told him to never come back. I can meet them now Harry. It’s been so long and all these memories feel like a heavy load on me. I stuck in between being happy and sad because of these nostalgic memories.”

“As I said, you deserve to be happy Louis. Sooner or later, you were bound to find your happiness again and I know you can’t be fixed back together by a single phone call but I assure you I’ll try my best Lou.”

“I’m scared to go back now Harry. I really have to break this delusional world I created and go back to reality. I really don’t know how to cope with this because every time I felt like everything was okay and stable, in other words, happy something bad would happen and prove me wrong. It’s like there’s a sick balance where I can only be happy for a few days and be miserable for the next few. It’s a damn cycle I’ve grown tired of.”

“It is a cycle Louis but you need to be strong enough to break it. You went through so much shit and now you’re only going to get happiness and when life gets harder, don’t ignore it, face it and prove to everyone you’re worth it because you’re strong!”

“You’re one of the best things that could happen to me Harry and I’m scared that one day I’ll lose you too. It felt right to get in a relationship with you even though as scared as I am. I don’t want our relationship to be based on pity so if you want to leave me, you can do it now. I won’t mind, I’m used to it.”

“Louis! Can’t you hear what I’m saying! I’m here for the long run. Put that in your head. Even if this does end, I’ll still be here by your side, forever. I’m not leaving. I love you too much to do something as such.”

There he said it. He told Louis he loved him, he didn’t expect an ‘I love you too’ back because it was too damn soon plus Louis was already insecure as it is.

“You’re here for the long run?”

“Yes Lou, yes.”

“You’re here for the long run.”

Louis hugged Harry and then Harry held Louis’ face kissing every single part of his face; his forehead, nose, cheeks, chin and lips. Louis giggled and stopped Harry by kissing him on the lips.

“I trust you, okay?”

Harry nodded and kissed Louis and they both lay down, snuggling each other.

“Are you going to meet her Louis?”

“I think it’s time I do. I don’t want to but I want to. Better sooner than later.”

“You’re sure about this?”

“Yes I am and I want you to accompany me.”

\-------------------------//----------------------

“I’m asking you again Lou, are you sure you want me to come? I think you’ll need some time alone with them.”

“No, I really want you to come.”

They were sat in Louis’ car outside the latter’s former house. Louis was slightly trembling but he knew he could do this. He could start accepting happiness in his life and stop being scared. They both got out of the car and Louis held Harry’s hand and smiled at him. Harry was gaping at their attached hands, and then smiled fondly at Louis.

“I will never understand how I met someone as perfect as you.” Harry kissed Louis one last time before they walked towards the house.

“So this is it.” Harry nodded and Louis knocked on the door, biting his lips.

Louis could hear footsteps approach and then the door opened with the familiar squeak he knew.

“Louis!” his mother gasped at the sight of him.

“You’re here! Louis, my baby boy!”

Johannah cried out and hugged Louis so hard and that’s when Louis started crying too. Harry felt awkward standing there, but he knew he had to be there for Louis. Johannah finally moved away and examined Louis.

“You've changed so much since.. Gosh, you even have stubble now. I missed you so much my baby. I missed you so much and I regret telling you to run away every single day but now I can make it up to you.” Johannah bit her lip, trying to stop fresh tears from falling.

“And who might this be Louis?” Johannah smiled at Harry and when she saw Louis hold Harry’s hand, her smile grew even bigger.

“Mum, this is Harry, my boyfriend.”

Johannah didn't know about Harry or where was Kaiden. She could sense it was a fragile topic so she brushed it away and hugged Harry.

“You've got yourself a beautiful lad here Louis.”

“I know mum, I know.” Louis smiled fondly at Harry.

“Come on in, the girls will be back from school any minute now.”

“LOUIS!” Louis knew this voice and his heart broke at the sound of it.

He felt 4 pair of arms hug him and he never felt so loved before.

“You’re back!”

“Where had you gone?”

“I missed you so much Lou!”

He could hear sobs and he was on the verge of crying but he didn't, instead he hugged his little sisters back tighter.

“I was gone but I’m back now.”

Lottie was the one crying the most and Louis kissed her cheeks making her smile.

“Hey.. I’m back now. It’s alright, don’t cry darling.”

“I love you so much Lou.”

Lottie smiled through her tears and hugged him again.

“Now let’s go inside before we freeze our arses out here.” Johannah smiled at the reunion.

Once inside, Louis presented Harry to his sisters and the twins made him sit down on the couch, asking him all types of questions while Louis went with his mum in the kitchen, to make some tea.

“He looks really charming.”

“He is, he’s better than Kaiden too.”

Johannah looked at Louis contemplating whether to ask him or not.

“He and I are done if that’s what you want to ask. We’re done because he said I wasn’t worth being presented to his parents as he was or still is in the closet.”

“I've never seen Kaiden but I swear if I ever find out what he looks like, I’m going to kill him.”

Louis laughed at his mum.

“Join the crew.”

"So how long are you and Harry? I can’t decipher how long because you guys are too adorable.”

“Five months now.” Louis kept on talking telling his mother how they met and how much he’s grown to love this boy.

“Do you want to meet Doris and Ernest? They’re still sleeping so you must be quiet.”

“Mum I was the eldest among five siblings, I think I would know.”

“Oh stop it you, now come.”

Louis entered a room which once used to be the guest room and saw two cute babies sleeping in their crib.

“They’re so cute.” Louis held Doris in his arms and cradled him.

“Why didn't you just give them my room?” Louis whispered.

“I couldn't and wouldn't have Louis. That room is rightfully yours. If I would have given them your room, I would have erased you from your sister’s lives and they would have maybe forgotten you a little bit and I didn’t want that. I knew that you would come back one day and I wanted them to never lose that love and hope too.”

~~~~~~~

It had been one week since Louis and Harry were in Doncaster. Johannah and the girls wanted them to stay longer but it was time to go. Louis couldn’t forget about work and Harry was almost done with University. But, they both promised to visit again soon.

\-------------------------//----------------------

Harry was eating crisps and watching TV, Louis sat next to him, poking his cheek.

“Give me one crisp. It’s the last I’ll ask, I swear.” Louis whined.

“You’ve eaten three-quarter of it Lou. Nuh-uh.”

“Crisp. Give me.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Harry got up and stretched his arm up high.

“Get it yourself then.” Harry smirked.

“Oh! Now you’re just being mean! Give it to me!”

Louis jumped, trying to reach it but ended up just a bit above Harry’s head.

“Shorty.”

“Giant.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Harry smiled at Louis because this time he actually said it.

“You know what; take the goddamn crisp I don’t care.” Harry shoved it in Louis’ hand and hugged the shorter boy by his waist, kissing him deeply.

“Say it again please.” Harry whispered.

“I love you Harold Edward Styles.”

Harry smiled, kissing Louis again.

“I love you too Louis William Tomlinson.”


End file.
